You Are My God

You Are My God

I wanted to post the lyrics to a song I recorded that was just released, called "You are My God." This song is an extremely personal declaration for us. Luke Sheets wrote this song after his sister lost her baby, and his heart totally comes through.

Breathe in, breathe out

It's all that I can do now

Hold on somehow

My world has come crashing down

I remember hearing the opening lyrics, "Breathe in, breathe out... it's all that I can do now..." and I thought, wow, that is exactly what I'm feeling, too. When it hurts so bad, all you can do is BREATHE. Every night after May 27th, we'd get into bed and just say--when we could pray--"Lord, thank you for just getting us through another day." The day we lost Luke was the worst day of our lives. The day after was the second worst, and the following weeks and months tied for third. It seemed like we were up to our necks in the mud, just trudging through unbearable grief.

And I cannot understand

How this could be Your heart

Still I'm lifting trembling hands

Help me trust in who You are

We could never say that the Lord hasn't been with us, because He has. In fact, we have never felt His presence more concretely than we have the past year and a half. In my mind, it's like I'm a little girl on her Dad's lap. I'm crying so hard and beating my fists into His chest. After all, He could have prevented Luke's death. But He didn't. He could have helped the EMTs get his little heart beating again. But He didn't. This side of heaven, I will never understand why He allowed this devastating tragedy to happen.

The whole time I'm flailing at Him, though, I can sense He is holding me. He sees our tears. He is gentle and strong, and He's sad right along with me. Sad because this world is broken, and death was never part of His plan or His will. I feel like a child who can't fully grasp that this life is but a moment and then we will get to be with Luke for all eternity. As wonderful and hopeful as that reality is, it doesn't help with the hurt while we're here. And I know He knows that.

You are my God

Here in the darkness, in the night

You have never left my side

You are my God

Even when I can't see Your face

I know I'm held in Your embrace

You are my God

I'm weak, I'm torn

My tears like rain fall to the floor

But peace, my Lord

You have whispered in this storm

And this is still Your plan--

That You would have my heart

So I'm lifting trembling hands

Help me trust in who You are

Soon after we lost our Lukey, somebody asked Greg how the tragedy had made us turn against God. Greg said the words of Peter in John chapter six came to mind. "Where else would I go?"

We shared this with Jason Ingram, who captured the thought in the lyrics of the bridge of the song:

And where else can I go?

And who else can I turn to?

Your word is eternal life and I'm not letting go

I'm holding on to You

You are my God